Signature – Cream horn
Technical – Moccatines – baking is basically Mary’s version of Hollywood, she’s coupled Mocha with… Florentines. #MoccaTine4Eva
Showstopper – Religeuse a l’ancienne – je ne comprends pas…
As episodes go, this wasn’t the most eventful. It was just all a bit strange.
For starters, Mel opened the show with one shoe on. Waiting for the other shoe to drop…. The last leg… Nope. Don’t get it.
Then you’ve got Flora revealing two giant bags of ice in the freezer. What kind of last minute BBQ are the Bake Off crew hosting?
Mary and Paul didn’t seem like quite the well-oiled cog we’re used to. During their tea with M&S after the showstoppers, they were just talking over each other. Just poor judgementship.
We got an interesting glimpse into a Hollywood party as Paul claimed one of these towering eclair infernos would need to stand for two to three hours before they’d be cracked into at a party. Woah woah woah Hollywood, so you’re saying you’d get the absynthe and coke done, and then move onto the tower?! Cray.
Mary’s Face of the Week
He’s a bit all over the place with his confidence. At one point he’s shocked that he actually baked a cake well (not the most welcome feature to a baking contestant) and then the next second he’s saying ‘there’s not much that can go wrong’ during the cream horns.
Ian brought us the weird ingredient of the week with chestnut puree. Ima let that notion sink in for a moment.
He had a rough time this week when his pastries just wouldn’t bond! I mean sometimes there’s just too much pressure, you have all the right ingredients, the heat,
the sex is great the chemistry is there, but if the bond is gone, you just can’t get anything cooking.
He made a helluva tower.
Flo is suffering from Benjamin-Button-brain. Lemon curd?! Come on. The only reason I’ve even heard of such a thing is from 15th century nursery rhymes. Let’s bring it up to the noughties at least.
And seven limes in your bake?! This isn’t the 12 Days of Baking.
This proved to be a rough week for a fair few of our bakers, including this one. It was puddles paradise underneath her horns – why she didn’t move the horns and get rid of the puddles, I couldn’t tell you, by the time the choc dried she probs could’ve just popped them right off: lazy.
I did feel for the girl when Hollywood was a smidge too patronising with ‘It’s almost shortcrust pastry. Do you understand?’ Oooh Paul. Don’t get Flo angry. I can’t image Flo angry, but I bet it’s bordering on making you jump for a moment.
From the looks of Mat last week and Paul this time around, it seems that the weak links are showing themselves from the get-go of the ep. He had a mare with his technical, creating the densest genoese in the tent (is too a word).
And his showstopper was more a mound than a mountain.
But, give credit where credit is due, big fan of his back-to-basics approach with the banana and custard flavour pairing. Saying that, from the sound of it, it tasted as processed as those foam banana sweets. Bleurgh.
Boy done good.
If we’re talking progression and growth in Bake Off, Tams is definitely up there. He’s becoming more consistent, filled his horns well and served delish mango and passionfruit flavoured creme pat.
Mary was a tad edgey during his judging with:
I hope this isn’t over baked.
Well don’t judge before you’ve tasted the bloody bake then biatch!
(That’s what sassy Tams should’ve said.)
Following on from Ian, Nadiya is now showing symptoms of Tentitus too. I mean for the love of blind-baking, we clearly saw a line of dribble from the bubblegum flavour spoon – cruel BBC editing team for leaving that in! Just get the girl to re-do it!
Woah there party girl.
Maybe start with just a lap of honour. Keeping your clothes on. Then we’ll start to think about streaking. You took a giant leap there.
I’m sure we all pictured a Ferrell style affair in the quad.
Our worrier managed to slip in a brilliant background glare behind Hollywood’s judging again this week:
But our Nadiya Worried Face of the Week has to be…
You can literally directly compare Nad’s face to the others, she’s just so intense! Scan L-R at the eyes, Ian’s are kind of like slits, Flo’s are a bit dark, HELLO EYEBALLS.
Her eyes are like Will Ferrell’s cheeks – I just can’t not look. they penetrate to the soul.
But it was all worth it as…
Paul is out!
Mel and Sue
‘Of course when Madonna makes cream horns she simply uses her bra.’
A nod to contestant Paul’s cream coloured top – such a strange choice for TV
Moment when Bake Off shows baking in a ridiculously serious light akin to a Scorsese script:
‘If the eclairs aren’t done well they could blend. which would be ghastly.’ – Mary
‘That bullet had my name written on it.’ – Flo
Innuendo of the week
Lots of talk of creams with horn and filling said horn with said cream.
Until next time…